I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

It's important to prepare audience for the worst in life. People come to forget their problems, and it's my job, right before I leave, to go, "Don't forget: You're going through a divorce and there's a recession." It's always good to end on a pensive note.

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

On a quick side note, I would argue that--much like Samuel L. Jackson--I am not arrogant at all; I'm just actually really, really great.

I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.