On a quick side note, I would argue that--much like Samuel L. Jackson--I am not arrogant at all; I'm just actually really, really great.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

It's important to prepare audience for the worst in life. People come to forget their problems, and it's my job, right before I leave, to go, "Don't forget: You're going through a divorce and there's a recession." It's always good to end on a pensive note.

I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.