In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.

God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.