In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.

A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?