There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion.' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.

On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.

There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.