Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon.

I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say "nihilism?" You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?