When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.

Don't get me wrong - I'll put $25 on the ground and then if you pick it up and we have sex in an alley, that's not a crime. That's a coincidence.

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.

I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.