When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon.

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

Imagine the wars we would've avoided if prior generations had a website where they could debate tragedy and politics in terse sentences?

I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.

It's important to prepare audience for the worst in life. People come to forget their problems, and it's my job, right before I leave, to go, "Don't forget: You're going through a divorce and there's a recession." It's always good to end on a pensive note.