If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.

Confidence is the key to virtually everything. It's just deciding that you're qualified because once you decide you're qualified, everything else becomes very easy.

You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.

I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is that for? Is there a lady who's going to see that and be like, 'Oh, I was going to get an abortion but now that I realize it hurts I guess I'll just give birth to a child! 'Cause I know that's painless and raising it should be a snap!'

Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.