I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.

God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.

There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.

Comedy clubs were something that came to pass in the '80s, but toward the end of that, in the early '90s, people started doing comedy again in alternative spaces.

When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.