I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.

Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.