A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.