[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.