There would be no population explosion if people who are trying to keep the wolf from the door wouldn't let the stork fly in through the window.
A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.