Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.

A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.