Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
Some members of Congress ought to have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.