A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.