A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.

Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.