Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.