Health is when it hurts in a new place every day.

Women are, of course, more intelligent. Have you ever heard of a woman that would lose her head only because a man has pretty legs?

Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing.

It's not a face, but a personal insult.

A fairytale is when you marry a frog and it turns out to be a princess. Reality is vice versa.

I've been smart enough to have lived my life stupidly.

All my life I've swam in the loo butterfly style.