I envy people who could just have one drink and not go look for cocaine afterwards.

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

I envy people who could just have one drink and not go look for cocaine afterwards.

I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

Wrestling is only gay when you make eye contact.