Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America.
If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.
I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don't give you speech therapy; they don't even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there's a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.
Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.
We have chemical weapons in America too, they're called meth and cocaine.
I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn't really hit us.