I could never have a threesome. This is not a threesome body. This is a turn off the lights body, leave your shirt on body - this is a tell nobody.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

You know you're getting older when your haters now want to kill you.

While everyone else was saying Trick or Treat my dad was telling us to say Triki Tras.