I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I learned. I didn't know how to put a set together.

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

My mom cooked the same food every day - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was enchiladas, it was - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was burritos, it was still - tortillas, beans and meat.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Wrestling is only gay when you make eye contact.

The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.