I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better the audience was at heckling me. But it helped me with my joke writing.

I started drinking when I was like 15, and by the time I was 19 everybody knew I was an alcoholic. So I would start five fights every weekend and lose terribly. First you start off fighting with one person and then he beats you up; and then one guy would be laughing, so you would hit him, too.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

Why go to France when you can smell the same people in coffee shops here in America.

I've got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama.

I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.