While everyone else was saying Trick or Treat my dad was telling us to say Triki Tras.

I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.

I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.

The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

While everyone else was saying Trick or Treat my dad was telling us to say Triki Tras.

I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don't give you speech therapy; they don't even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there's a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.