Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

You know you're getting older when your haters now want to kill you.

I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!

Halloween is the only day I can dress up like a hot Latina woman with a beer belly.

If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!

The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there.