I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don't give you speech therapy; they don't even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there's a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.

I don't know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.

Whenever another Latino tells me they're more Mexican than me I stop working and let them do the work for me.

I've got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama.

I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I learned. I didn't know how to put a set together.

I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.

Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.