Whenever another Latino tells me they're more Mexican than me I stop working and let them do the work for me.

If you have a fat brother or sister you might be American.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Whenever another Latino tells me they're more Mexican than me I stop working and let them do the work for me.

I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I learned. I didn't know how to put a set together.

While everyone else was saying Trick or Treat my dad was telling us to say Triki Tras.

A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.