The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

Thanksgiving is the day you don't know if you're invited for dinner or an intervention either way is going to be an ambush.

I may not be the best dad but I taught my son how to get free samples at the mall.

I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I learned. I didn't know how to put a set together.

I listened to my first comedy album in 6th grade. It was Bill Cosby. My brother and I would play it over and over on a Fisher Price record player. A friend in high school also introduced me to Richard Pryor. I wasn't writing material back then, but I would say funny stuff. I was good at making fun of people's moms. If I knew something personal about you, it would be used against you.

I don't know any skinny people who bully fat people. I just know skinny people who use fat people for rides.

According to my local hip-hop station everyone has garnish wages, child support, liens and wants to buy or rent rims. Ya Heard!