When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idee in a card game is war