When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.