A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.

The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle - on the back of a dollar.

You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.