If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.