There are no friends at cards or world politics

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.