If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.