A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.

It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.