Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.

To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.