High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.