The last man that makes a joke owns it.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.