A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.

Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.

To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.