A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.