Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

Trust ivrybody-but cut th' cards.

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.