Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

A man's idee in a card game is war