It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable

What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.