I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.