Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.