What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.