Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.