Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.

Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.