I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

Trust ivrybody-but cut th' cards.

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.