I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable