Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people; they love the eagle - on the back of a dollar.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.