You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.