A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.