It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

A man's idee in a card game is war

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.