Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength.

Funny is an attitude.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

What you see is what you get.

Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.