Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength.
Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.
Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.