Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Nothing succeeds like address.

I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.

I never had a typewriter. I never had any machines.

Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves.

I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.

You're only as good as your last haircut.